In both profiles he makes it clear that he is “a trans guy” and that people should “only message me if you’re cool with that.” Part of the need for this complicated negotiation is that OKCupid doesn’t allow users to identify as “transgender”—just “male” or “female.” The site has been in the news this week after cofounder Christian Rudder announced that developers secretly changed some people's compatibility ratings and removed profile photos to learn more about behavior on the site.
He dates men and women, both transgender and cisgender (a term for people who aren't trans).
After La Mon transitioned from female to male, he didn’t change his gender to “male” on his OKCupid profile; instead, he started a second profile where he identified as “male.” He kept the female profile active because he thinks that some women who typically date other women might also be interested in dating transgender men.
Like OKCupid, Mesh has an algorithm that helps determine compatibility. If you specify characteristics or preferences you don’t want potential dates to have (Republican, vegan, straight), Mesh will block those people from seeing your profile.
On Mesh, people only see a trans person’s profile if they’ve already indicated they’re open to dating transgender people.
' When it came to us actually getting together, she had no idea what to expect in terms of my body,' Oli says.